B
billp
Guest
This is a copy of a report I made in Pattaya Talk - Thought it might interest some of you .
It started with a phone call early Saturday morning . My wife is one of 5 sisters and a brother and the family home is just outside Lat Yao which is about 30 kms outside Nakhon Sawan . One sister (widowed) and her son lives on a farm with Momma , 2 more sisters and the brother live in the same area , the 4th sister lives in Chachaengsao whilst we live furthest away in Klaeng . "Come quickly !" was the message " Momma in hospital and not expected to live more than 48 hours " - so 1 hour later , having sorted out the business , we were on our way via Chachaengsao to collect the sister - seven hours later we were sitting around the hospital bed like a flock of vultures , watching Momma who was in a coma ; and so that went on day after day for 7 days - so much for the Doctor's estimate! We had booked into one of the local motels - the nearest to the hospital - no way was I going to sleep on hard boards at the farm being bitten by mozzies and god knows what else . The motel was typically Thai , well-conceived and nicely built but poorly maintained . This meant among other things that the heater in the shower did not work and my aged bones abhor cold water . But I didn't stink too much ( no one complained ! ) . Finally at 2am the following Saturday , Momma passed away and they moved the body out to the farm , where they also erected 4 large marquees .
We then decided to move motels to one close to the Wat (temple ) - This was better, in that the heater worked, although it was slightly noisier being closer to the road . The funeral (cremation ) was fixed for the coming Thursday at 3pm and the preceding days started with monks at the house at 7am and 8pm every day , ladies of the village bustling around the numerous clay pot fires , cooking vast amounts of rice soup and different other dishes . The monks chanted interminably mostly ending with 'Me-armi , Cat-armi and I think occasionally Pastrami or Salami !!' , a vast number of Aunts appeared dressed in black , sat around like carrion crows , chewing on their leaves and spitting into their little pots . The entire community seemed to be related in some way or another and over these days they all appeared many of them several times . There was the retired bar girl telling the possible new stock what good times she had and the money that could be made just doing what they were doing already (with the local boys for free ). Okay , so it would be with an elderly fat farang ( At which point they would all look at me ) . There was the table where many of the men sat imbibing the bottles of beer , whisky , and brandy . There were many re-unions between local and distant family meeting up for the first time since the last death or wedding . I rarely saw the wife , she was so busy talking to friends and family , telling them about life down south and explaining her crooked mouth was due to her recent brain tumour removal , not because I beat her . Occasionally she would remember me and return to ask if I needed anything then disappearing again . The odd Thai who could speak a few words of English came over , said their few words , mostly 'Where you from?' or 'Do you speak Thai ?' then retreat back into the crowd again . Regretfully my Thai is virtually non existent but it is no problem , I like to sit and watch.
Eventually Thursday arrived . We went at the Wat about one and half hour early but there were many people there already . The numbers increased vastly with many coming long distances , a six piece band arrived , squatted on the ground and proceeded to play very doleful music - at the same time , the Wat played more doleful music over their loudspeakers so the families meeting up had to shout their greetings . The noise was horrendous . Finally it quietened down and the ceremony began with a senior monk sitting on a throne-like chair chanting prayers , he was then joined by another 24 monks ( and 5 novices ) who helped with the chanting . When this finished,they were each given a gift of new robes plus an envelope containing 200 baht .
Eventually the coffin was moved to the incinerator paraded around the incinerator led by the band followed by the family then most of the congregation before taking it up the steps to the incinerator entrance , where again , presentations of new robes were given to to the monks one by one , the presentations were made by local dignitaries such as village head men . Then every body collected a small white flower which they placed on and around the coffin before it went into the fire.
Gradually then the crowds dispersed till only the family remained . Many of the travelling families left immediately but we were remaining for the 7th day rites that were on the following day . This will also be repeated at the 50th and 100th day . Finally , on Saturday , 2 weeks after the initial phone call we set out for home . We decided to leave at 8am but we were 30 minutes late collecting the sister , who in turn took another 30 minutes to get ready , and then breakfast appeared , so we finally left one and a half hour later than we intended . But eventually we arrived home , glad to be able to sleep in our own more comfortable bed.
Finally , many expats complain about how they are ripped off by the family on such occasions - my wife's family did no such thing , they came often in making sure that I was comfortable ,offering me drink and food - as for expense , I was prepared to have to contribute a large amount particularly because my wife is the youngest but my total expenditure including travel and motels , was around 50,000 baht - I thought it was going to be twice that , at least .
It started with a phone call early Saturday morning . My wife is one of 5 sisters and a brother and the family home is just outside Lat Yao which is about 30 kms outside Nakhon Sawan . One sister (widowed) and her son lives on a farm with Momma , 2 more sisters and the brother live in the same area , the 4th sister lives in Chachaengsao whilst we live furthest away in Klaeng . "Come quickly !" was the message " Momma in hospital and not expected to live more than 48 hours " - so 1 hour later , having sorted out the business , we were on our way via Chachaengsao to collect the sister - seven hours later we were sitting around the hospital bed like a flock of vultures , watching Momma who was in a coma ; and so that went on day after day for 7 days - so much for the Doctor's estimate! We had booked into one of the local motels - the nearest to the hospital - no way was I going to sleep on hard boards at the farm being bitten by mozzies and god knows what else . The motel was typically Thai , well-conceived and nicely built but poorly maintained . This meant among other things that the heater in the shower did not work and my aged bones abhor cold water . But I didn't stink too much ( no one complained ! ) . Finally at 2am the following Saturday , Momma passed away and they moved the body out to the farm , where they also erected 4 large marquees .
We then decided to move motels to one close to the Wat (temple ) - This was better, in that the heater worked, although it was slightly noisier being closer to the road . The funeral (cremation ) was fixed for the coming Thursday at 3pm and the preceding days started with monks at the house at 7am and 8pm every day , ladies of the village bustling around the numerous clay pot fires , cooking vast amounts of rice soup and different other dishes . The monks chanted interminably mostly ending with 'Me-armi , Cat-armi and I think occasionally Pastrami or Salami !!' , a vast number of Aunts appeared dressed in black , sat around like carrion crows , chewing on their leaves and spitting into their little pots . The entire community seemed to be related in some way or another and over these days they all appeared many of them several times . There was the retired bar girl telling the possible new stock what good times she had and the money that could be made just doing what they were doing already (with the local boys for free ). Okay , so it would be with an elderly fat farang ( At which point they would all look at me ) . There was the table where many of the men sat imbibing the bottles of beer , whisky , and brandy . There were many re-unions between local and distant family meeting up for the first time since the last death or wedding . I rarely saw the wife , she was so busy talking to friends and family , telling them about life down south and explaining her crooked mouth was due to her recent brain tumour removal , not because I beat her . Occasionally she would remember me and return to ask if I needed anything then disappearing again . The odd Thai who could speak a few words of English came over , said their few words , mostly 'Where you from?' or 'Do you speak Thai ?' then retreat back into the crowd again . Regretfully my Thai is virtually non existent but it is no problem , I like to sit and watch.
Eventually Thursday arrived . We went at the Wat about one and half hour early but there were many people there already . The numbers increased vastly with many coming long distances , a six piece band arrived , squatted on the ground and proceeded to play very doleful music - at the same time , the Wat played more doleful music over their loudspeakers so the families meeting up had to shout their greetings . The noise was horrendous . Finally it quietened down and the ceremony began with a senior monk sitting on a throne-like chair chanting prayers , he was then joined by another 24 monks ( and 5 novices ) who helped with the chanting . When this finished,they were each given a gift of new robes plus an envelope containing 200 baht .
Eventually the coffin was moved to the incinerator paraded around the incinerator led by the band followed by the family then most of the congregation before taking it up the steps to the incinerator entrance , where again , presentations of new robes were given to to the monks one by one , the presentations were made by local dignitaries such as village head men . Then every body collected a small white flower which they placed on and around the coffin before it went into the fire.
Gradually then the crowds dispersed till only the family remained . Many of the travelling families left immediately but we were remaining for the 7th day rites that were on the following day . This will also be repeated at the 50th and 100th day . Finally , on Saturday , 2 weeks after the initial phone call we set out for home . We decided to leave at 8am but we were 30 minutes late collecting the sister , who in turn took another 30 minutes to get ready , and then breakfast appeared , so we finally left one and a half hour later than we intended . But eventually we arrived home , glad to be able to sleep in our own more comfortable bed.
Finally , many expats complain about how they are ripped off by the family on such occasions - my wife's family did no such thing , they came often in making sure that I was comfortable ,offering me drink and food - as for expense , I was prepared to have to contribute a large amount particularly because my wife is the youngest but my total expenditure including travel and motels , was around 50,000 baht - I thought it was going to be twice that , at least .
