The Cost of a Village Funeral

Night Stroker said:
Having been involved with a number of funerals around my village I have noticed that too much food is provided. To answer Cent's question the mourners are given leftover food to take home rather than waste it by throwing it out. And yes I have been given a bag of food by the relatives to take home. Sometimes my wife brings me something she has been given specifically for me.
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As food is dished out round the clock, the only leftovers would be after the actual funeral/cremation. And even then, people return to the family home for more food (and drink if available)

From what I see. All events (parties) hand out bags of food to people who visit in return for an "envelope" Many villagers just pop in, say hello, and return after a couple of minutes with their goodies, which often include a bottle of Chang or Leo. That is why I ask specifically in the case of funerals, WHY is there a need for food?. Do as they do in the UK. leave the family alone to grieve and just attend the church/wat/crem for the final sending off!
 
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mario299 said:
Cent: Now you're talking about building homes, but the subject was funerals. Our funerals don't involve liquor at all, but certainly the house building parties do.
Bags of food are indeed taken home from funerals, but that is part of what the "envelopes" are all about.[/QUOTE]

The point is Mario, should that be part?

I have seen very old, very poor people die in my village, never had more than a few baht to rub together, very little food , yet the moment they die, vast quantities of food and invariably booze are suddenly available, money seemingly no object. I sometimes wonder whether they would not have died had they been provided with decent food when they were alive

My Ist Thai wifes Uncle died some 30 years ago. Not old. No money apparently to take him to the doctor, which had they done so would probably have cured him. Yet his funeral/cremation...on a bonfire....had all the trappings of good food and lots and lots of booze for all the locals. No problem then finding some money.
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Prakhonchai Nick said:
I believe it can all be done for a minimum of 20/30,000baht. That however is with none of the add-ons of food day and night, dirge music, and possibly the chanting of 1 or maximum 2 monks over 2 days.

I have raised the question many times with the wife, but never received a decent answer. Why is it when the attendees are virtually all neighbours, is the provision of food necessary at all?. They can eat at home as they would normally do and still pay their respects. And as for the monks they can go back to the Wat after the morning chant to eat.......after all they have previously done their morning begging ritual, so the cupboard is far from bare!

With the prices mentioned above, it would almost be cheaper to utilise CO-CO's services:D
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I want some of that shyt your smoking.;;bad simle;;;;bad simle;;;;bad simle;;;;bad simle;;
 
mario299 said:
Cent: Now you're talking about building homes, but the subject was funerals. Our funerals don't involve liquor at all, but certainly the house building parties do.
Bags of food are indeed taken home from funerals, but that is part of what the "envelopes" are all about.
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Agee on this. Two times over.
 
Prakhonchai Nick said:
As food is dished out round the clock, the only leftovers would be after the actual funeral/cremation. And even then, people return to the family home for more food (and drink if available)

From what I see. All events (parties) hand out bags of food to people who visit in return for an "envelope" Many villagers just pop in, say hello, and return after a couple of minutes with their goodies, which often include a bottle of Chang or Leo. That is why I ask specifically in the case of funerals, WHY is there a need for food?. Do as they do in the UK. leave the family alone to grieve and just attend the church/wat/crem for the final sending off!
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To be fair, some of the biggest wakes I have seen have been in the UK.......................... notably where the Irish are involved................ or gypsies.
 
Night Stroker said:
Having been involved with a number of funerals around my village I have noticed that too much food is provided. To answer Cent's question the mourners are given leftover food to take home rather than waste it by throwing it out. And yes I have been given a bag of food by the relatives to take home. Sometimes my wife brings me something she has been given specifically for me.
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gotlost said:
Did you have some else check it first.:rolleyes::D:D
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He is a braver man than me and yet he still lives to tell the tale. :D:D:D
 
Deerculler said:
A funeral here in Thailand is far to expensive. I see the same thing in NZ with the Maori. The culture thing thing is often blown out of proportion.
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Out of proportion is spot on for Thailand as well. Many families who have f**k all spend a disproportionate amount on funerals - and for the wrong reasons.


If you have the money by all means have a lavish wedding/funeral, whatever you wish. If you have to borrow money to pay for someone's send off, I would question whether that was the right thing to do.
 
At one farang funeral I attended a couple of years back. the widow was criticised by many of the Thai women for it being very low key and somewhat inexpensive. They considered with a farang involved all the stops should be pulled out. It subsequently turned out the farang was not as well off as had been thought, so fortunately there was more money left for the widow and not the monks/wat!!!
 
The villagers have done fork all for me and I am buggered if I am going to fund a lavish send-off for them. I have told my wife, make my funeral a very low key affair with no hangers-on, and no drunks either. I have warned her that I will haunt her for the rest of her life, if she ignores my directive. Not that that will make any difference. She will do what she wants to do and I will have no say in the matter, or will I?
 
nomad97 said:
The villagers have done fork all for me and I am buggered if I am going to fund a lavish send-off for them. I have told my wife, make my funeral a very low key affair with no hangers-on, and no drunks either. I have warned her that I will haunt her for the rest of her life, if she ignores my directive. Not that that will make any difference. She will do what she wants to do and I will have no say in the matter, or will I?
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My sentiments entirely. Happy to use (and pay) the Wat for the use of their cremator, and happy to pay for a couple of boxes of Leo/Chang to keep the monks in their huts, but as you say, unlikely to happen.
 
nomad97 said:
The villagers have done fork all for me and I am buggered if I am going to fund a lavish send-off for them. I have told my wife, make my funeral a very low key affair with no hangers-on, and no drunks either. I have warned her that I will haunt her for the rest of her life, if she ignores my directive. Not that that will make any difference. She will do what she wants to do and I will have no say in the matter, or will I?
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That is exactly the point.................... it has bugger all to do with us ! ;)


We all know Thai women (and/or their families) who will want a lavish event for the sole reason of face.


A few years ago Jip said to me "what do you think the people with think of me (as a Farang 'wife') if I just burn you at the wat and do nothing else....". I simply replied that it was entirely up to her as she had total control but I would prefer a simple affair limited to immediate family and/or a few friends - if necessary - personally, I would want to be remembered for what I had done during my life, and not for the funeral.


Because we are not part of a village, or community, it should be easier for Jip to keep it low-key. Using Nick as an example - I think it would be much, much harder for someone like Nick's wife. Dow's daily life revolves around the village and it's inhabitants, Nick and Dow have been an integral part of the village for many years and attend village social events regularly. They are well know and well respected. I imagine that Dow would be under tremendous pressure to arrange a send off that was befitting the status in which the family are held. At the end of the day Dow is Thai as are all her acquaintances and peer group. We saw an example with the late Richard the Baker from Lahansai; he made it crystal clear that he wanted a simple send off with no fuss.................his widow arranged the exact opposite and he would have hated it. Family/crony wishes were more important than her late husband's....................... I don't agree with it, but I do understand it.

Living in the middle of a rice field - or being a city dweller - is unlikely to attract the same degree of pressure/expectation.
 
I feel very similar to you 2. I don’t even want people to be told that I’d died. If they had nothing much to do with me when I was alive, why bother to tell them that it’s stopped.
I also do not at all like the idea of people gawping at a dead body. A haunting will follow that, if it happens! 555.
My mother always said ‘give me the flowers when I’m alive’ and I feel the same way.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
CO-CO said:
To be fair, some of the biggest wakes I have seen have been in the UK.......................... notably where the Irish are involved................ or gypsies.
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Coco, Was going to say that with the Irish funerals all go back to the house of the deceased and have a feed and drink and swap stories about the deceased and mourn over a few drinks into the wee hours. Yes, even the Irish 'American' families. Part of the culture ingrained. As I imagine many other American ethnics do as well. LOL

I don't mind the Thai way, but it just seems the less money the family has the more in debt they will go to prove otherwise to the near and dear locals. My wife does pay into a 'life insurance' policy every year for her mother to pay for the future funeral costs. Well, I do pay actually. I figure it will be cheaper in the long run when she passes for me. But wife being married to a farang I suspect she will be under a lot of pressure from the hangers on and Thai old biddies to splash out. She knows my thoughts on that though, and is fairly tough minded on these sort of things. Not really giving a flying f**k what others think. Especially those that have never done a thing to help Mama when help was needed along the way. She knows the score. She's strong.
 
Yorky said:
I've been to a few (3 or 4) village funerals but all were deceased Farangs.

Can anyone make a stab at a rough cost of a village funeral for a Khmer rice farmer? No booze!
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Did you get some kind of an idea you can move forward with ?

@Yorky , you're married obviously.
What was her answer ?
 
Coffee said:
Did you get some kind of an idea you can move forward with ?
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It wasn't me that wants to move forward. It's a friend whose wife died recently and I was attempting to discover if he was ripped off. It now appears obvious that he probably wasn't.

Coffee said:
@Yorky , you're married obviously.
What was her answer ?
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My wife's answer was pretty much the same as others posted above but pointed out that village funerals usually cost more than funerals in the town.
 
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